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Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Welcome
Welcome, may I welcome you -my dear friend- to the world where role models become heroes and where heroes become role models. A world where everything you do matters and everything around you just observes the truly person that you are. Most of those times they may have a negative connotation towards you because the way you act or respond. However, sometimes many people who observe you in great distance may also have a positive attitude towards you and who knows, perhaps they follow the way you are. Not only they will try to be the person you are, but will also see you as their role model and perhaps even earn their respect. However, whatever the case may be, may I also remember you that as you embark this solemn world setting and example will not be an easy task. People everywhere are watching you, hunting you and observing how you interact not only with friends, but acquaintances as well, whether if it is for the best or for the worst. Sometimes people around you really take your actions in consideration, whether you notice it or not, and make analyzed judgements towards you; therefore, it would be prudent to caution every step you take. Nevertheless, to sum up everything said, I would like to welcome you aboard to a challange and together we can converse over the success and faulire of the mission to set an example to our surroundings.
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8 comments:
joel i really liked your small introduction it was really warming. something that you could work on is to re-word some of words or sentences so it could sound better when someone reads it.
Vanessa Reyes
Joel or as you like to be called.. Wolverine I believe?
I'm very glad to see how you
have high expectations of your readers, with such high vocabulary and the way us your words to make the reader see your point!
But as any newbie writer you express yourself too much, try sorting out your thoughts. Other than that kudos to your welcome post!
Joel,
I believe that you are a great writer with a lot of potential. I really enjoyed your intro to your topic. I also enjoyed the use of high vocabulary in your blog. Somewhat I agree with Gary that there are times were it seems that you don't fully understand your topic. Please don feel offended it’s just my opinion. Well I hope to learn more about you and your topic.
Joel,
Wow joel you are such a great writer and in the last 3 years that i've known you i never knew you could write such a great writer. Im with gary on this one yeah you are a great writer and all but you need to get the concept of being an example. Because when i was reading the comment you wrote to Masiyeli,that her writing was equivalent to your sister's was pretty harsh, and that kind of comment does not show you being an example at all. Maybe do what gary said offer to help others with grammatical errors and how to make their blogs even better. Hopefully you understand what the rest of us are trying to say and do not get offended. But the rest of your blog is really great and hopefully by you being the team leader you can show me some of your skills so i can work on doing articles for sports illustrated and espn and such. So take not only my advice but as well as the others so you can become a great example yourself.
Hey there Wolverine,
Wow, i have to qoute you on something: "People everywhere are watching you, hunting you and observing how you interact not only with friends, but acquaintances as well, whether if it is for the best or for the worst." That is incredible true and scary in so many aspects. People are watching you everyday and there's not a moment you're not glanced at. I must agree with Gary, you must also add the fact that being an example affects people's decisions in their own lives not just towards the person they observed.
You have a strong opening, some grammatical errors here and there but the message is clear. I enjoyed your writing and hope to read more of it.
[why wolverine?]
Dianasaur
Dear Joel,
Well your topic is interesting, but it is true that many people interact within one another differently. I agree with Gary you should built up your ethos because as we have been learning your actions and words built and represent who you are; and this is the same thing your writing on so I think you should look more in dept of your topic. I seemed interested in your topic it seems we all are heroes in our own way.
Sincerely,
Masyeli M.
After reading the introduction or welcome post I say is it a very good welcoming post the way you introduced the topic of your writng. For instance, one of the sentences you use as an example of setting an example which is "a world where role models becoming heroes and heroes become role models." This is a really interesting sentence that says a lot when you have just read the post. As well as the welcoming post is there are some problems like repeating some phrases or using a word over again. The best thing to do would be using different words or and not reuisng a sentence over and over again.
Dear Joel,
I agree that we tend to have high expectations on our elders. Personally I have had them and gotten disappointment, but what I have learned throughout their problems, I cannot judge them when I’m still making various mistakes as well. At this age we do tend to think that we are “Albert Einstein” and that we don’t need anybody to guide us in the right path, because we “know” what where doing, and will make the right decisions. The reality is we know what where doing, but we don’t tend to make the right choice many time sin our daily life’s.
As you example of elder’s life have already taken choices that we cannot change at all, but in my opinion we could learn, but instead I fell we judge and later in our life we either tend to make almost the same mistakes, worse, or make the right choice. I learned in my Economics class that “every choice has a cost” and I think you should look into economics it would help you a lot with your blog. Also I would like to add thanks to your suggestion toward how I could improve my blog.
Sincerely,
Masyeli M.
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