When I was small, me and my dad would always go out and play soccer at the park. he would take me everywhere and buy me anything I wanted. In sum, I was spoiled and because I was the only one I got what I wanted. You may think I am the first-born , but I tell you I am not. As a matter a fact, I am the second child and my brother is the eldest. Nevertheless, as I was telling you my dad was the maximum. He was like my superman, my batman and my spiderman combined, but when my sister was born everything changed. Instead of taking me to the park and play soccer, he would take me to the park and took care of my sister. Instead of going out and eating ice cream, he would stay home and babysit my sister. I was young and I couldn't understand why my dad didn't hanged out with me like before. Then everything changed and I slowly began to dislike my dad. He wasn't my hero anymore and surely he wasn't my everything.
I remember one day my dad came from work and he kissed my little sister and said hello excluding me. I felt sad and mad all together and I remembered that I cried. Those days were the darkest days in my life and everything changed in my life. I would begin to behave bad at school and I would ignore my dad just like he ignored me. My mom would always picked me up from school and she told me that she hated when she was called to got to the principal's office. My mom would ask me why did I behave in such way and my only answer was in a form of shrugging my shoulders. Like I tell you, since my sister came to this earth, my respect towards my dad has been negative. I did however liked my sister, and I was never mad at her for being loved. I still love her and we help each other with our homework. Although our relationship isn't perfect, we still hold that mutual love.
As in for my dad, I still have trouble loving him and respecting him because of the way he has treated me for the past 12 years, but when my mom tells me how hard my dad works and when I see him with great grief, my inner thoughts towards him change. I realize that my dad does everything possible so I could have the best. He doesn't tell me he loves me, but I know he does. This scenerio might be the same to you. I don't know how to put it, but I could tell you that our dads are different than our moms. Our dads may be more strict or behave differently than our moms, but they are still lovely in their own ways. As a guy, I can tell you that we do not like to share our feelings and as a result we act a certain way.
Going back to what I was saying, our dads are very hardworking and whether or not you have a great relationship with him or not doesn't mean that they do not set an example. You may say something like, "what? my dad doesn't set any example all he does is smoking and drinking. He hits my mom and he never cares about me." Its true that he doesn't set an example by doing such horrendous things like that, but do you really think he doesn't. If you think about it this way, our dads do set example even in circumstances like these. How? Let me explain. The way he sets an example is by making you choose to do the contrary when you grow up. Who ever said that setting an example always have to be positive. Setting an example can be done either way. So think and really analyze your father acts the way he does. Ask yourself what can i do to set an example for him. what can i do to make him reduce his caliber of his actions.
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4 comments:
Dear Leo,
First off thanks for sharing something personal with us. Im kind of confused though, are you trying to say that your dad has shown you what not to be as a parent yourself?
If so, I dont think it was the intention of your dad to do so, but I guess that a personal opinion.
People often set the wrong examples without even knowing it yes even our parents. But the good thing about our parents doing such things is that we can actually talk to them and tell them whats wrong for example when you said that when your mom asked why you behaved so bad and you just shrugged perhaps if you were to say the truth during that time things couldve changed. Where as if your hero might be Chris Brown there's nothing you could do or say to HIM directly to fix things.The advantage of having family members as heroes is to be able to speak out when something is wrong and of course the disadvantage is being let down.
As personal as your blog might be you must remember people have it worst and at times dont have some of their family members, the best thing we can do is be grateful we have them now, and forget about the past. With this I want to tell you...
Vibras Positivas
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Dear Joel,
I like the idea that you made the choice to put an example of your personal life to explain what you meant for your blog. I agree that our dads are different from our moms, but sometimes when we may have our differences we still care about eachother. I cannot relate to your story because I'm an only child, but I can relate to the attitude of parents, especially our dads. Some of us are more close to our dads or moms, but that does not change of who sets an example for you. Sometimes like you mentioned it does not neccesarily need to be a positive, but sometimes it is a negative example. If it is a negative example to me it is no excuse to state that you are that way because of so and so because you have the power to say no, but sometimes influences are stronger. What do you think about this?
Dear Joel,
When were small, we don’t understand. Many times when new siblings come in the picture things change and we as little kids want the attention we once received before the new baby came. When I was a child I did receive attention from my family a lot, but when my brother came a long it changed, but I never really blamed my parents, but instead I gave him more attention from me. Parents many times don’t realize that if they put the smallest attention then they would stop bad behavior, but when it’s still in time not when it’s too late. I think the reason you might change your mind is because you still love your dad a lot. I do agree with you that they are bad heroes and good, but we never know which we follow. It just happens.
I'm pretty sure it's difficult and complicated to be a father. Taking care of kids is the hardest job out there. Sadly, they don't get paid for their services, but they get to cherish the moments of diaper changes and a life long lesson of either keeping it in the pants or be a kinder person in general. Your personal story was a strong part of the blog that made it interesting. I see your dad as a much better dad than mine and i can surely say better than a lot of dads out there. In the end, with faimily, were all going to have to face that they're going to be gone one day and we need to choose our words carefully so that maybe the last words may be cherishable.
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